If I Rebooted It (A Final Outline from an Ex-"Star Wars" Fan)

I wrestled with whether or not it was appropriate to post this, seeing as I've deleted almost all posts pertaining to Star Wars (an action I've since come to regret to an extent). In the end, I felt it would serve as a fair coda to my time as a Star Wars fanfic writer.

Right as my status as a SW fan was receiving last rites, I toyed with the idea of writing an entire Original Trilogy rewrite; I even typed out a few pages before my soured feelings put a kibosh on the whole deal. I no longer have those pages, having deleted them, but I did preserve the outline of ideas I had conceived in preparation.

So, with no further ado, my final dip into the SW sandbox, my vision for a SW OT reboot:

GENERAL CHANGES

• My OT would be semi-hard science fiction, with a few fantastical elements, rather than outright science fantasy. Things like 3D space travel would be featured, but people walking around inside giant space slugs without spacesuits in Earth-normal gravity would be out of the question.
• My OT would take place in the Milky Way Galaxy, in “the 33rd century A.E.”, hundreds of thousands of years into the future. Humans and near-humans would be the only sapient life inhabiting the galaxy; there’d be no genuine aliens.
• Projectile weapons such as coilguns and smart missiles would be featured, with energy weapons taking lesser precedence.
• The lightsaber would be somewhat different. It’d be a weapon only trained Force-users can activate and wield. It’d possess a monomolecular blade of “energized particles” which can cut through most anything but doesn’t generate any actual heat. Jedi lightsabers would be red while Sith lightsabers blue.
• No manned fighters. All fighters would either be outfitted with AIs (Empire) or remote controlled (Rebel).
• There’d be no light/dark dichotomy to the Force.
• No Force ghosts.

STAR WARS

• Luke would be changed into a female character named “Leia Skywalker”.
• Leia would become Princess Zara Antilles.
• The Death Star would not make a physical appearance. Zara would be imprisoned on Vader’s Star Destroyer and all scenes pertaining to her rescue would take place there.
• Ben would survive his duel with Vader.
• The film would end with our heroes escaping for Hoth.

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK

• My version of TESB would open a couple weeks after the events of SW. The damages to the Falcon would’ve been those sustained during our heroes’ escape from Vader’s ship; Leia would be furthering her training under Ben; etc.
• Dodonna would take Rieekan’s place.
• The Leia/Han/Zara love triangle would be a bisexual one.
• The walkers would be replaced with tanks.
• Ben would be slain by Vader while helping our heroes escape Hoth.
• In contrast to Ben, Yoda would be quite the PT-era Jedi. He would teach Leia that Jedi are forbidden from forming attachments, including romantic ones.
• Bespin wouldn’t have a breathable atmosphere.
• Six months would explicitly pass between the Battle of Hoth and the duel on Cloud City.
• I’m on the fence as to whether Vader would be Leia’s father or not.
• Leia would join Vader.

REVENGE OF THE JEDI

• Three years would’ve passed since TESB. Leia would’ve spent that time receiving Sith training from Vader.
• The one and only Death Star would finally make its debut.
• Motti would take Jerjerrod’s place.
• Emperor Palpatine would be reimagined as Espaa Valorum, the beautiful, androgynous, ageless Dark Lord of the Sith.
• Under his helmet, Vader would be revealed as a handsome middle-aged man without any injuries or disfigurements.
• No Ewoks, no Endor. The Rebel fleet would attack the Death Star above Had Abbadon, and we’d get a trench run much like the one from A New Hope. No muss, no fuss.
• Valorum would zap Leia with his lightning; Vader would skewer him on his lightsaber; then Leia and Vader would have their climactic duel.
• Leia would slay Vader à la Dooku. Vader would die in his sins, unredeemed.
• The film would end on a bittersweet note, with the Death Star destroyed, Han and Zara together, and Leia assuming command of the Executor and going off on her own, intent on building a First Order free of Jedi/Sith dogma.